Week 3

What I did:

This week was really about solidifying my ideas. Since I was home for the weekend, it was hard for me to get any real work done, however I did sit down with my mom for about an hour and a half and just talked to her about what I wanted to do. This really helped me make my ideas concrete and helped me to better articulate what it was I really wanted to do.

Sitting down to get my ideas together and organizing myself: 1.5 hours

Putting together a draft of an email to send out: .5 hours

Researching online and on google books: 2 hours

Researching in the school of social work library and the grad library: 3 hours

What I accomplished/discovered/encountered:

I am definitely feeling much better about this project now that I am focused on an area that I am really passionate about (focusing on adolescent females that have been psychologically bullied). Here are some of my notes from when I was trying to get organized and get my thoughts together:

-I want to generate art from girls who are victims of bullying, perhaps showing how they feel when they are bullied and use these pieces of art to show others the enormous prevalence of this issue and the effect it may have on these girls' psychological beings.

-Art was something that I began to taken on during this difficult time in my life, and it was a way for me to get out my aggression, enter into my own world, and express myself.

-should I ask an indirect question to provoke a response about bullying or directly ask them a question that implicitly talks about how they feel when they are bullied?

-I would perhaps like to talk to these girls and tell them my story and how I overcame this period.

-Perhaps ask: Have you ever felt badly about yourself? Felt alone? What brings about these feelings?

-the drawings will be completely anonymous

-Perhaps ask them to fill in the question and draw: When I am bullied I feel...

- I still want to create a book after I have collected several drawings.

After meeting with Stephanie on Tuesday, I went off into research mode to find more about art therapy and adolescents and its implications. I am also trying to lear more about what is really going on psychologically and culturally. Through this process I found very pertinent sources that I think will really help me as I delve into it more. Here are the books that I found:

The last book that I found: Creative Interventions with Traumatized Children seems to be so relevant and helpful. There is an entire chapter titled, "Creative Approaches to Minimize the Traumatic Impact of Bullying Behavior." This chapter goes into the various definitions of bullying, its psychological impacts, who tend to be the victims of bullying and the role of art therapy in minimizing the impacts of bullying. For example, the author states that art therapy offers victims of bullies an opportunity to express themselves in a safe way. It is a venue for nonverbal self-expression, which I find to be extremely important. "These students often are unable to verbally express their feelings of fear, worthlessness, confusion, and even rage. They often internalize these feelings as a way of coping with their daily trauma. For most students, repressed feelings emerge in his or her drawings allowing him or her an opportunity for self-actualization." This section also goes into several case studies. For example, one child named Mike found art therapy as a visible means with which to express his innermost feelings, those he could not or dared not verbalize. The structured drawing assignments allowed Mike to fully express his submerged feelings of rage. Mike was asked to "Draw how you feel about school," and he drew a hand grenade being tossed towards his school.

This is what I am trying to accomplish through this project. I want these girls to be able to express themselves through their art and be able to get down on paper something that is so hard to put into words and talk about.

While meeting with Erica today, we discussed a few very important details:

-I want to make sure the girl's interpretation of the drawings is their voice and not my interpretation of their voice. This may mean going over the drawings with social workers.

-how to make the book accessible enough so that the bullies are able to see the drawings, perhaps?

-Maybe sending the drawings or book to different schools or getting an exchange together between 3 or 4 schools?

I also found these websites:

http://www.kidscape.org.uk/gallery/postersdetail.asp?parOrganisation=Zap%20Participants

This website gives various posters that girls and boys made to work against preventing bullying in schools.

http://www.thejakartapost.com/news/2008/11/19/youth-raise-awareness-bullying-through-art.html

This article talks about using art and the right brain to cope with being bullied.

On a different note: I wanted to include my essay that I used to apply to colleges that I dug up since it puts into words and gives an example of what I went through during this time of my life:

It was the first day of school, junior year, and like every other student,

I was overwhelmed. While sitting in math class, I noticed an unfamiliar

face sitting beside me. It was clear to me that this girl felt alone and

isolated, keeping to herself while all the other students were eagerly

talking about their summers. I knew the feeling of not fitting in is tough,

and it was sad for me to see someone look so uneasy. Impulsively, I tapped

her on the shoulder and introduced myself. I told her that this is a very

friendly school where everyone is warm and welcoming, and that she would

adjust in no time. In addition, I told her that if there was anything she

needed, or if she had any questions, I was here for her. I did what was

natural to me: I befriended her, and to my surprise the result was much

larger than I had ever anticipated.

I had once been in this young girl’s skin, and it is definitely not

easy-- it hurts. This period of my life, from the time I was eleven to

fourteen, I refer to as “the dark period.” During this time, I

experienced being emotionally bullied by my so-called “friends.” I was

rejected, psychologically battered, and somewhat scarred, which affected my

extremely sensitive self. I was ostracized and taken advantage of: I was

the girl who had no one to sit with in the cafeteria, and the one who lent

people money and was never reimbursed. Never did a day go by without my

standing in the small, dark, decrepit phone booth, crying my heart out to

my mother. It was the only place to hide during the dreadful lunch period.

For me, switching schools became the end to this era. From one school to

another, the spirit at Edgemont was so welcoming, my classmates and

teachers were so amiable, and I had transformed into a new student.

In the end, from my horrible middle school years, I have learned to never

make anyone feel uncomfortable in any situation. I wanted to give this new

student a warm feeling, one that I had not received during that time of my

life. In return, the girl gave me her gratitude. Towards the end of our

junior year she approached me and said, “Carly, I just wanted to let you

know that what you said to me the first day of school meant so much to me.

As awkward and uncomfortable that day should have been for me, I remember

it as being welcomed and made comfortable by a girl named Carly.” With

some tears, I thanked her for thanking me.

A simple kindness can make a world of difference. Not only was her life

greatly influenced by a simple gesture, but mine was impacted as well. For

me to know that I have made a slight difference in the life of an

individual is all I can ever ask for and all I can ever want.

What I think I should do next:

-I believe I really need to start having conversations with people who are educated on this issue, and who I could share my ideas with. I also want to get involved with the group, Strong Moms, Strong Girls. I think that starting at a place that is devoted to working with girls with these issues will be good rather than going into school districts right away.

-I contacted Hannah's friend, Dr. Orli Avi-Yonah, and am waiting for her to return my call.

- This week I am also going to contact others who are involved with the Strong Moms Strong Girls Program. I have drafted an email to contact these people.

-I want to also continue with my research and continue to become more educated on this issue. I want to actually get through the books that I took out rather than having them sit on my desk and skimming over them at times.

-Lastly, I really want to get the question that I am going to ask these girls solidified. At the same time, I am going to think about how to make these drawings accessible so that they show people just how much of a problem bullying really is.

That's all for now, sorry this is so long!!